Takes me Back..

I am full of emotions right now. I can't explain, I can't describe but all I know is that I feel the PAIN. The pain in my stomach, the pain in my throat and the pain in my eyes. I feel bad, I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I can't help it. This is just me, I am just with MYSELF today. The feelings I've had before now came back. I thought I finally blocked it on my system, I tried to ignore it these years however anxiety attacks me again. I am so emotional, I was crying a lot, especially this week. I can't help myself to be like this. I'm just a cry baby. 

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There are a lot of things that had happened to me this month. I can't say it all. I can't find the words to say it all. I am just thankful that I've found this person who is willing to listen to all my troubles. I can share to him all my worries and sentiments. However, I'm not the person I used to be back then. I've changed a lot and I don't like it. That's why now I have to find myself again. I have to bring back the person I used to be. The prayerful and fearful one. I felt guilty cause I failed HIM and I can't help but get so emotional every-time I think of it. I'M SORRY. I am not the same person I used to be, I don't talk to you every night, I don't pray everyday which I used to do back then. I AM SORRY, for hurting you, for hurting my parents and for hurting the love of my life. I thought I was strong enough to face the challenges but I was wrong, I am not strong, I'm just pretending to be strong. I am weak, super weak but I'm not giving up cause there's one person who believes in me, YOU believe in me and this special person believes in me. I can't thank you enough for giving me this person, I am super blessed. You never let me face these troubles alone, you know that I needed this person so much more than anyone. THANK YOU T^T.
Even though I'm feeling down and sad right now I am FOREVER GRATEFUL of your glory, for loving me, for taking care of me, for guiding me and for being so understanding. I will try to find my old self again since she's back, the other me. I will try to be relax and calm cause I know this storm will pass. HUGSSSS

Comments

  1. tabulyogang8/29/12, 7:17 PM

    chang i feel you. i really do. i think all of us are going through something terrifying and freeing at the same time. That is the one reason why i am leaving. Because i don't like what i am becoming anymore. I know you will understand in the end.

    Sa unsa mana emo na-agian karon i pray that you will be given strength to bear it all. And i pray that life would be kind to such a sweet and sunny person. Thank you sa tanan chang :) I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. chachucho8/30/12, 7:55 AM

    hi shenani huhu..yes i completely understand why and thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am going through some rough time these days and i can't help myself to get so emotional.

    I am trying to pull myself back. Thank you as well shenani for sharing me your wonderful self.
    The bonding and friendship will never ever be forgotten.

    Your are the cutest and lovely person I know so its hard to forget you.muaaah! This isn't goodbye cause I will see you soon..I love you too. xxoo

    ReplyDelete

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